Part 1. Philippine Statehood, mongrelizing Americans



     With former Congressmen Bartolome Cabangbang and Rufino Antonio now pushing up daisies from six feet under, one wonders what ever happened to the Philippine Statehood U.S.A. Movement. Gov. Roy Padilla took off where they left off a few years ago, and but did he lose interest? With the present crisis in the economy and in the political arena, the movement should be revived by some sleazy politician, for political gain (what else?).
     There are many goofy reasons being advanced for this movement. First, that Filipinos will find jobs in American corporations and be paid in non-devaluable dollars instead of shrinking pesos. Second, that American bases will be back and Filipinos can buy all the American PX goods they want without limit. Third, that Filipinos can go to the United States, the land of milk and honey with streets paved with gold, anytime without having to line up for a visa, and be insulted by Americans of low IQ. And fourth, that Filipinos will automatically be American citizens, which by definition means being free, rich and sexy. It’s amusing of course.
     But with 90% of Filipino children, as per the U.P. Doronilla survey, wanting to have been born in countries other than their own, and with the Hodel Survey in the 1960s concluding that 60% of the adult Filipinos would rather be American citizens than Filipino citizens, perhaps Filipino nationalists should throw in the towel and join the Statehood Movement. And precisely for the very reasons why Americans here vehemently object to Philippine statehood.
     Why not, indeed? Present population in the United States is 270 million, ours is 69 million. If the Philippines is annexed into the United States, the latter's population will increase by 20%, and will outstrip that of the Russia Federation. The Philippines will the most populous state of the union, bigger than the two most populous states -- California and New York -- combined. The Filipinos will be the largest ethnic group in the United States, larger than the Irish, the Blacks, the Chicanos, or any ethnic group of European extraction.
     According to the formula by which Texas was admitted into the Union, the Philippines may choose to divide itself into 5 states with a total representation in the U.S. Senate of 10 senators; and according to its population, the Philippines would have a representation in the House of 60 congressmen. How's that for political clout? We will be the most powerful political force in the country.
     We really stand to gain if admitted to the American Union. First, with our voting power, we can elect an American President. That means that if we care to, we can elect Imelda Marcos as the President of the United States, and have Erap Estrada succeed her in next election. Considering the penchant of Americans for interfering in our elections and exploiting us, this constitutes delicious irony, poetic justice and divine retribution.
     Second, our senators and congressmen can vote the Philippines all sorts of pork barrel allocations, social security, medicare and welfare, that will make us Filipinos the recipients of American bounty beyond our wildest dreams, enough to compensate us for all the wealth American carpetbaggers and multinational corporations have been taking out of our country since 1909.
     Third, given the irrepressible libido of our males and the seductive beauty of our women, in a couple of generations we Filipinos will MONGRELIZE the entire American nation, making half breeds and quadroons out of the white trash racists of the Klu Klux Klan variety.